


How It Feels To Be Human

by Dovahkiin



Category: Almost Human
Genre: Drunkenness, Fluff and Angst, John doesn't like being home alone, M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-19
Updated: 2013-12-31
Packaged: 2018-01-05 03:28:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1089063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dovahkiin/pseuds/Dovahkiin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The more time Dorian spends with John the more he learns about him, and the more he learns about himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first work that I've written for this fandom, and I hope you like it!

"C'mon Dorian," John slurred, "We still got si- seven more bars to go."

"I think you've had more than enough for one night, John, don't you think?"

"But-"

"John."

When he didn't respond, Dorian smirked. He had to admit, he liked it when he could boss John around, which only seemed to be when his work partner was drunk. Perhaps he should be drunk more often, but not to this extent, of course. They stood outside one of the numerous bars that they had visited that night, pink neon lights reflecting off the wet ground from the light rain currently sprinkling down. Earlier in the day John had insisted that they go bar hopping, even though Dorian didn't drink. Dorian had humoured John at around the fourth bar by having a beer. He could feel the alcohol breaking down in his system, bubbling down various tiny tubes and funnels (a bit like veins, he supposed) to be stored until there was a time for the remaining product to be removed. John was leaning heavily on Dorian's shoulder, looking up at the sky as if he'd never seen rain before.

"S'wet."

"Yes it is, John. Maybe we should get you home before you catch a cold."

"Home? I don't like going home. It's so empty there, Dorian. Please don't leave me there alone." 

John's voice cracked at the last word. He looked sad and a little bit fearful, which was a look Dorian had never seen on his partners face before. It unnerved Dorian more than he would admit. He would rather have the John with the usual frown and grumpiness than have this other John, with the vulnerability and tenderness of a small child.

"I'll stay with you John, if that's what you want."

A relieved look passed over John's face as he nodded. He shivered from the rain, and Dorian noticed the movement.

"Are you cold, John?"

"Mm, a little."

There was a fine coat of wetness that was slowly darkening John's jacket, soaking through and chilling his skin. Dorian frowned, shrugging off his own jacket and draping it over John's shoulders. John looked up at him, puzzled, but Dorian just shrugged. The rain rolled effortlessly off his synthetic skin, John tracking a pearl of water with his eyes as it travelled from Dorian's bicep, down his arm, and finally slid from his fingers, melding with the millions of other droplets on the ground.

"The car's just a few blocks away from here. I've calculated the best route for us to take."

John grunted in reply. As they walked, Dorian was constantly ready to catch his friend, for John had protested that he could walk "damn well enough on my own."  
After dragging John away from several bars and a noodle stand, Dorian breathed a sigh of relief as the dark police cruiser came into view. With John secured in the passenger side, Dorian slid into the front seat and started up the engine. The ride was quiet and smooth, with the occasional complaint from John saying that Dorian wasn't treating his car right. As they finally turned into the driveway, Dorian chuckled as he heard the light snores coming from John. Dorian scanned his friend's pockets for the keys. John was an old fashioned kind of guy, and hadn't opted for the bio locks that were very popular nowadays. Dorian cringed as he located them in John's front pants pocket; some things he wasn't quite sure of when it came to human social conduct, but he knew that this was a little awkward. As he was extracting them, John woke with a start.

"Huh? We here? Dorian! W-What're you doing?!"

"Keys," Dorian said cooly as a way of explanation.

John shifted uncomfortably as Dorian pulled the keys free, mumbling something that sounded like a string of halfhearted curses. Dorian guessed that if John hadn't been drunk right now he would have definitely received a very lengthy lecture on personal space. After disentangling John from his seatbelt and unlocking the door, Dorian guided him inside onto the couch. 

"Ugh, your breath stinks, man." Dorian complained.

"Mm, so what? You gon' make me brush my teeth?"

Dorian paused, deep in thought, as if he was trying to solve the mysteries of the universe. John felt a terrible sense of foreboding. Dorian straightened up suddenly, like he had made a decision.

"Actually, yeah."

A look of pure terror flashed across John's face, and Dorian chuckled mischievously.

\----------

After wiping the last bit of foam off his chin with the back of his hand, John sighed. Dorian was really pushing him around today. He admitted to himself that he kind of liked it; there was someone who was taking the heavy weight of responsibility off his shoulders, someone else who was making decisions, someone who wasn't going to get his whole team kille-

 _Shit. Fuck. God damn it._ John was suddenly awash with memories of his dead team, of his girlfriend, of the pain as his right leg-  
He glared angrily down at his leg and in a sudden fit of rage pulled his pants leg up to his thigh. He wanted to rip the damn thing off and burn it. His anger soon turned into despair as his drunken fingers fumbled along the edges, nails scrabbling on the smooth surface. Ragged breaths tore from his throat and hot tears spilled from his eyes that he could not control. That hated part of him was a constant reminder of what he had done, how he had failed his team, how he had failed himself. He took in a shaky breath when warm hands encapsulated his own, stopping his frantic movements. Dorian was kneeling in front of him, bright blue eyes meeting his own, and John thought that those eyes held more humanity in them than some people had in their bodies. There was a pause, and Dorian surged forwards to embrace him tightly as John crumpled in on himself. Dorian wasn't really sure how long they stayed like that, John curled up tightly as Dorian rocked him gently, murmuring quiet nothings in his ear, and he wasn't really sure why he chose to comfort his friend like that; it just seemed like the right thing to do. After a while, he noticed that John was breathing deeply and evenly, and gently carried him to the bed and laid him down in a comfortable position. He carefully removed the synthetic leg, placing it on its stand, and returned to John, covering him in blankets. As he turned to leave, John spoke. Dorian frowned. He had thought John was asleep. No one had ever managed to fool him like that.

"Dorian?"

"I'm sorry, John. I didn't mean to wake you."

"S'fine," he paused, before continuing hesitantly, "Can you- could you please- I need-"

"Hmm?"

John took in a shaky breath.

"Please don't go. Please don't leave me alone."

Dorian studied his partner's face for a moment, his own face unreadable, and nodded.

"I'll be right here, John. I'm not going anywhere, I promise."

John settled and breathed out heavily. He turned to watch as Dorian sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Y'know, if I wake up and see you loomin' over me like that I'm probably going to freak out."

Dorian watched him for a moment and then sighed, taking off his shoes before peeling back the blankets on the other side of the bed and sliding in beside John.

"Whoa, hey, I didn't mean- "

"John, shut up," Dorian said quietly. And he did.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry I have never written anything like this before hOW DO YOU PEOPLE NOT TURN INTO MUSH WHEN YOU WRITE THIS KIND OF STUFF help me
> 
> ( ! ) Also referring to the ending it is NOT permanent, there will be another chapter, and I wish to sincerely apologise for my idiocy and hope that not too much damage was done :(

Dorian was on stand by, or what you would call being half asleep; he was conserving his energy but was not shutting off completely. Dorian opened his eyes as John shifted in his sleep. Dorian noted that his friend was cold, goosebumps rising on his arms and neck, and so he adjusted his external heat output by a degree or so. John shifted again, snuggling closer to Dorian and the comfortable heat that he was radiating, strong arms reaching out to curl around Dorian's waist. Dorian was now very alert and very awake. Blue light began to dance across his cheek, illuminating John's peaceful expression. Dorian had never experienced this kind of closeness before. The MX's that shared the bottom floor of the station with him had a cold sense of purpose, striding around with efficiency and with no time for idle chitchat. They had little understanding of what it meant to be human, making decisions based on logic and facts. All the MX-43 androids were linked on the same frequency, and Dorian was not. Even among his own kind, he was isolated and alone. But this? This was new, and this was different. John murmured something incomprehensible in his sleep, head resting on Dorian's arm, and Dorian smiled down at him. 

But-

What was-

Oh.

_Oh._

Dorian's smile slid off his face. For the first time, he couldn't think - couldn't analyse - he was stuck feeling that weight pressing on his leg and the warm breath on his face. There was a strange sort of _tik-a-tak_ in his chest, which was kind of concerning but he didn't really care at the moment. John moaned softly in his sleep and his hips twitched against Dorian's knee. Dorian swallowed audibly. Dorian noted John's heart rate increase as his hips moved again in a more purposeful roll, sighing quietly as he did so. Dorian tracked the movement of John's pink tongue as it slid out of his mouth wetly and licked his lips, leaving a coat of shiny saliva that Dorian wanted so desperately to taste. But, as much as Dorian wanted to explore this new situation of which of its kind he had never encountered before, he didn't move an inch, concerned that if he woke John up their current positions would definitely damage their relationship beyond repair. His relationship with John was more important him than anything else. John was the one that woke him up; John was the person for Dorian. No one else would want to take a 'crazy' DRN. Dorian was torn; he wanted to leave, but he wanted to stay, too. Leaving meant John would wake up in the morning alone, which would betray John's trust in that Dorian had promised to stay. It could also mean accidentally waking up John. Staying meant waiting until this, uh, 'situation' passed, or John waking up in the middle of it all and their partnership would end up in pieces. But, Dorian wanted to see the look on John's face as his pleasure rose. Would his forehead crease into his usual frown? Would he bite his lips as he ground his hips against Dorian? Would he moan loudly, or would his mouth be open, all sounds caught in his throat? Would he pant, would he squirm, would he whimper? Some of those questions were answered as John's hands bunched in Dorian's shirt, dragging his hips against him and he growled hungrily in his sleep, like he had been denied this for far too long. Dorian had to make a decision, but how to choose?

He made up his mind as soon as he heard it.

_"Dorian."_

It sounded desperate and wanton, hidden in a quiet moan, but Dorian still heard it. It sent sparks of electricity through Dorian's body, tingling through each wire and conduit, making him feel overly aware and hypersensitive. Dorian sighed. He knew that he couldn't use his friend like that, and even if John did wake up and consent to it, Dorian wouldn't accept that as a proper 'yes'. His friend was far too drunk to make decisions like that. Using all of his self-control to carefully unhook John's arms around his waist, Dorian wriggled away slowly, pushing gently at John's hips so that Dorian could pull his knee away. John whined at the loss of contact, and Dorian faltered. He froze as the bed creaked loudly underneath him. He stayed frozen in place with his eyes wide and blue light flickering across his cheek as he watched John wake up. John's eyes snapped open, seeming to almost glow with the light coming from Dorian reflected in them, and on his face a look of peacefulness was replaced with that of mortification and shock . He rolled away from Dorian as quickly as he could and sat up, holding his head in one hand as a likely hangover over took him. He looked up at Dorian and Dorian shook his head frantically as that look turned into anger.

"Get. Out." John growled.

"John-"

" _Now!_ "

\------------  
Dorian stepped out into the pouring rain, shoulders hunched over and head bowed, sheltering himself more from his own downpour of emotions rather than the rain. He didn't care that the rivulets of water soaked through his shirt, coming into contact with exposed circuitry that he made no effort to protect, the absence of his chest plate making him incredibly vulnerable. Walking down street after street, Dorian didn't care where he was going, but the water was definitely starting to take effect; his face scrunched up and his body heaved with each sob. Wait, what? Dorian reached up to wipe at his eyes. Although they soon became indistinguishable with the rain, he saw them: tears. Dorian was confused. How was this possible? He'd never heard of this happening to any DRN. But there he was, standing in the pouring rain, soaked through to the inside, circuits in his chest fizzling, and crying human tears.

"Is this what being human feels like?" Dorian asked himself quietly as he rested his back against a wall and slowly slid down onto the wet pavement, unable to control his limbs anymore as the water wreaked havoc on his system. He paused, before adding, "Being human feels like shit."

There was a little smile on Dorian's lips as the light on his cheek flickered out and the piercing blue of his eyes faded to black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok um yeah so I'm worried that the paragraphs are a bit chunky? I dunno I hope it reads smoothly! Also my god I felt so nervous posting this because I have never had a sexual moment with anyone??? and I'm like 'does this actually happen?' 'would someone react like that?' 'dOES THIS HAPPEN IN REAL LIFE?'


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here is chapter three. I felt like I had to post this one quickly after the last one, as an apology. Hopefully everything sounds alright, and I hope there aren't too many mistakes. I'm on holidays at the moment in Queensland, Australia, and it has be VERY hot the whole time I've been here. Today alone was 46 degrees Celsius, or 114.8 degrees fahrenheit! I find it difficult to think in hot weather so beware, the plot may be a bit of a mess at the moment. Also, I had to do some research into whether it was silicon or silicate or silica or silicone and to be honest I was struggling with all the terminology, so apologies to all the science people out there reading this, hats off to you.

Rudy was holding up a dark umbrella with one hand as he rifled through his pockets, searching for his keys. He grumbled quietly to himself as water splashed onto his forehead. He scowled up at the little tear in the fabric of the umbrella which had been patched up with some tape, but clearly the tape was fighting a losing battle; water was oozing out a little bit at a time. Another droplet fell into his eye. Blinking profusely, a flash of lightning illuminated his surroundings, and something caught his attention. He squinted into the darkness as the light faded, and a crack of thunder made the ground vibrate. Another flash of lighting, and he could see: something. A dark shadowy shape slumped against the wall. Curious, Rudy moved forward cautiously. He gasped as a flash of lighting threw light on the person laying there.

"Oh my g- Dorian!"

Rudy hurried over, crouching down next to him and sheltering him from the rain with his umbrella. He froze as he saw through Dorian's white shirt, so soaked with water that it had become transparent. He could clearly see the multitude of wires and circuits were badly waterlogged.

"No, no! What the hell are you doing out here?!"

He had to get him inside. He tried to lift him up, but it was no good. Dorian was heavy, and Rudy couldn't carry such a weight. Extremely talented when it came to feats of the mind, but not so much of the body.

"Just- just stay here!"

He knew it was a stupid thing to say a soon as he said it but he didn't have time to think. He sprinted back out into the pouring rain, leaving the umbrella with Dorian, and sped through the doors of the station. He sighed in relief as he saw the last MX on duty.

"Can you- please - come with me," Rudy wheezed.

"Mr Lom, your heart rate has increased by sixty three percent since you last exited the building at 2:37 am, exactly eight minutes and forty five seconds ago. Do you wish for me to assist you?"

"Yes- please," Rudy pointed in the direction of the doors, "Outside."

The MX, 650, opened his mouth to argue, but Rudy cut him off.

"Please, just- forget the rules for once. I- someone needs your help. Please, 650."

650 hesitated for a moment, studying Rudy carefully before speaking.

"Direct me to where you want me to go, Mr Lom."

Rudy was somewhat taken aback. He had expected it be a lot harder than that to convince the MX to come with him. But he was relieved nonetheless.

"Uhhh- oh um outside- D- he's outside."

Despite the MX agreeing to help, Rudy thought it wise not to mention that the person was Dorian. No doubt the MX would be more than a little disapproving when he realised who, exactly, he was helping. Rudy hurried outside with the MX close behind.

"This person. They are not far, are they?"

"No, he's just around the corner."

Rudy couldn't believe it. An MX, sounding... _nervous_? Incredible! He'd have to have a look at 650 later.

"Here he is! Over here!" Rudy exclaimed loudly in relief as Dorian came into view. The umbrella had kept off more rain from entering Dorian's exposed chest, but unfortunately it wasn't big enough to cover the rest of him; everything else was soaked.

"You want me to... take him inside for you?" 650 asked disbelievingly.

"Yes."

650 frowned at him for a moment before moving the umbrella aside and gently picking Dorian up. His frown became more intense as a whole sheet of water poured out of Dorian and cascaded down his front, puddling at his feet. 650's face was blank, but to Rudy it felt like he was being given a 'you'll pay for this later' face. 650 turned and squelched off in the direction of the station, Dorian hanging limply in his arms.

\------  
Down in the lab, Rudy moved things off one of the metal tables frantically and eventually pushed the rest off with one sweep of his arm. Bits and bobs clanked as they rolled and bounced across the floor.

"Put him here," Rudy tapped the cleared table, "Face down. We need all that water to drain out."

605 did as he was told, and stepped back, watching intently as Rudy bustled around picking things up and shaking his head as he put them back down, evidently searching for something.

"What is it that you are looking for?"

"Hmmm? I think... I think it's a little black rectangular box, about this big," he made a small square with his fingers, "made of metal."

"I see."

Red light began to dance on 650's cheek and he slowly turned his head to view the whole room. He started forwards, picking up what seemed to match Rudy's description.

"Is this it?"

"Ahh yes! Thank you!" Rudy plucked the object from 650's hands. Rudy peeled of Dorian's wet shirt and 650 tilted his head to one side to watch him thoughtfully, as though he didn't revive praise or thanks often. Rudy noticed him watching and cleared his throat.

"Inside," Rudy said as he rattled the tin box gently, "are these very small electronic bugs I like to call, 'Silabytes'. Not the best of names I know, but that's what I've got so far. They're called 'Silabytes' because they have a coating or 'skin' of silica gel, or 'siO2'. The great thing about silica is its got millions of tiny pores that absorb and contain water and I was trying to manipulate the siO2 so that it would contain blood and tissue samples since that could be useful in some cases. So I came up with the idea of the Silabytes because it would be good to control the material at a crime scene, so where they went and what they collected etcetera, etcetera. But uh- this is just the prototype, which- which uh- I haven't tried out yet and I don't know if they'll work."

"Shall we test them then, Mr Lom?" 650's tone sounded almost like a challenge.

Rudy swept his wet hair off his face, breathing out heavily before rolling Dorian over. Rudy opened the box and shook little translucent white round objects directly into Dorian's chest cavity, with 650 watching closely over his shoulder.

"They're white so that-"

"You can ascertain if they have collected a substance or not."

Rudy chuckled nervously.

"I should hire you as my assistant at this rate."

"Mr Lom, I should advise you that is not in your power to-"

"Alright, alright! It was just a joke!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everything was ok here, please let me know if I need to fix something!
> 
> ( don't know if this is important but the Silabytes were my invention, but if they are already a scientific invention or have been used in texts before please let me know and I'll see if I can change what I've written in case of ownership thingys )


End file.
